Dinner with the Folks

Horror Fiction
10/28/2019

     I was really worried about going to eat dinner with Jessica’s family.  We had only been dating for three weeks, and while I’m sure there are some couples out there who introduce their partners to their family quickly, for me, it was still too soon.
     I made sure to get my hair just right.  Shirts and pants, not a crease in sight, and cologne not too much, not too little.  This was make-it or break-it and I swore I wasn’t going to have another failed relationship.  Still, this whole “meeting the parents” thing, is enough to make anybody nervous.  I am no exception.
     “It’s just Dinner.  You ate food loads of times.  You’ll show them you’re the best damn chewer around.  The fastest jaws in the west.  You got this right?  Right?  I’m sure her mother’s cooking is to die for, I’m sure the dad isn’t nearly as scary as all those horror stories you hear boyfriends tell of their first time meeting the ‘old man’.  I dunno if she has got any little brothers or sisters, but I’m sure their adorable if she does.   Absolute angels.  Everything is going to be juuuuust fine…I hope.”
     After my moral boosting pep talk in the bathroom mirror was complete, I walked out the front door, got into the car, and drove myself to Jessica’s, reassuring myself the whole way.  When I got there, Jessica was waiting for me outside, with her parents.
     They had the vacant blank stares of indifference plastered across their faces.  Their mouths hung half opened.  They looked like they wanted to say something but they were at a loss of words.  I greeted them but was just met with a groan.  I guess my coming over tonight, though expected, was a bit of a bother.
     Jessica led us into the house, and once in the dining room, I saw in front of me upon the table the most amazing feast I’d ever seen.  Rump roast, rib tips, thighs, liver, the works.  It was a sight to behold.  Jessica’s mom really went above and beyond in the preparation for tonight’s meal.  I was going to devour everything I could.
     Taking our seats, and giving thanks to Jessica’s mom the cook, we began to enjoy our meal by fiercely tearing into it.  Meaty flesh flung about as our teeth gnashed through it all destructively. bones were thrown to the side.  I even got my claws digging in unable to hold back at the delicious feast.
     “Mrs. Zom this is truly delectable.  You outdid yourself.  What kind of meat is this?  I don’t believe I’ve tasted anything so divine.”
     “Frreeeeeeeeeeeed.”
     “Oh!  Fred meat?  I haven’t had a Fred yet.  No wonder.  Might I ask the age range?”
     “Meeeeeeeediuuuuuuuum.”
     “Mmmm perfection.  The 50’s are truly the best.  You have a fine pallet Mrs. Zom.  Mr. Zom, you are quite a lucky corpse.”
     Mr. Zom just grunted and kept eating his brain gelato.  He apparently enjoyed dessert before dinner.  A true man of culture.
     “Jessica, your family is something to beHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!  Thank you for inviting me tonight.  The full moon truly completes the ambiance.  I feel right at home.”
     Jessica began to say something until her jaw fell off and landed in her bowl of eye ball soup.
     “Moooooooore innnnn the baaaaaaack.  Liiiiiiiiinnnnnndaaaaaaa.”
     “Oh, I would love seconds.  I don’t want to impose though.  The selection is truly magnificent.”
     With a bob of her limp neck, Mrs. Zom rose from the table and sauntered off slowly into the back room.  The creaky floor boards cried out and the joints of a rusted door screamed as it opened slowly but not as loud as the woman in the back.  Her vocal pitch reached its pinnacle before a boomed thwack was heard making the floor beneath us feel like it jumped if only for a moment.  Seconds later Mrs. Zom came slowly walking in dragging her leg.  With her, she had a woman’s corpse bloodied with her head bashed in, her hair firmly grasped by Mrs. Zom’s hand.
     “Dinnnnneeerrrrrr.”

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